He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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