So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
