We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
