I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
