I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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