how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
last night I used snow as a chaser
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
