fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
