hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
