My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
