We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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