I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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