She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
