nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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