she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
