why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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