I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize