I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
