i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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