These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
