My hair reeks of homosexuality.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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