i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
