I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
