we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
