ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
