I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
