i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
