Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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