"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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