Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
