I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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