I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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