i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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