My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My apartment stinks of burning failure
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
