End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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