Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
