in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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