i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
