I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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