And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
look no pants
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
