Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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