Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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