I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The maid of honor just puked.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp...herpes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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