I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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