the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
