tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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