how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
