I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
my liver is dry heaving
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
