I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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