you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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