when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
