it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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