She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Panties = found
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