I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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