he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
