I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize