no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize