I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
