It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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