She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
3 2 1 whiskey
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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