so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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